This can be challenging as the original precedence set for the relating may have been a high investment from both initially which created that unified field of connection and consciousness.
If that initial transaction of equanimous, balanced energy is affected by one of them withdrawing their amounts of contribution to their relationship/connection it will be felt in the overall co- created energy of what their relationship//connection form that it has taken or created.
This means that if one is still investing at the same original amount of energy as set initially and the other is not, the exchange becomes distorted as this affects the overall free flow of giving and receiving. What this can then do is, It then places one as the over-functioning driving force as they are attempting to maintain the original invested transaction amount of energy form that was the foundation of their relationship/connection.
The one that is not investing as much as they were originally would only do so if there is an change in the original value placed upon their original investment of energy in the relationship/connection.
A change in their perceived value can either be short term, long term or permanent. Many factors can influence a person to change. This then will create the other who is investing more in the relationship/connection, to attempt to demonstrate, show,remind, badger, influence the other to remember the original value, form and relating that was created whilst the exchange was balanced and equanimous.
Unfortunately all this will do is confirm the others decision to maintain their withdrawal of investment and exchange.
So how does this shift to balance again?
The first thing is understanding that there is always a motivator in energy exchanges. It will predominantly be either love or fear. Fear can make a person withdraw their original value in the initial unified exchange. In the same time, fear also motivates a person to over-function. The other motivator is loss. We are motivated to prevent loss in any way, shape or form. This is also associated with gain, what we may or may not get from the connection/relationship. Any feelings associated with the risk of loss or losing will create a value change. Therefore somehow, in the original unified field of the balanced equanimous exchange, the original value or the connection / relationship has shifted from love, infinity, connection joy, freedom, to feeling the fear and risk of potential loss. Even loss around what the relationship/connection with the other could mean to their reality.
So this dynamic of one over investing than the other and the other not investing as much as they were originally, is and can only be created when the VALUE of fear of loss is present in BOTH and becomes the driving value in the exchange or the energies.
The only thing that is keeping the one over investing is that they have a greater value placed upon it at this point in time.
Because they have attached their own value of themselves to the current value of the exchange. Therefore the value that has been withdrawn from the connection/relationship, is a representation of the value that the over- investor has withdrawn from investing in themselves
They have set it up in themselves and in the relationship/connection that any dip in energy, or lack of balanced exchange means that if they don't catch the energy dip before it falls, the other won't. This would result in both parties no longer investing in the transaction between them, running the risk of a significant loss...
The one that has withdrawn their original energetic contribution will do so in the way that it communicates to themselves a way of minimising the overall value that they had originally placed upon the relationship/connection. So meaning if one person is attaching their own value to it and pacing more value on it, then the other will polarise the experience through detaching from the value of it and minimising it. So where the other will associate it with their own DE-value the other will associate it with their own RE-value. Meaning they will personify themselves in the communication in a magnified way.
So why is this happening?
Each person is attempting to create a safer precedence as to which the relationship/connection can exist and function under, however, they are attempting to cram those safety mechanisms within the already co-created original relationship/connection form of consciousness.
In the original balanced, equanimous, transaction of investment from both parties, they were only focusing on their relating. Then it became about what to do with the information that was shared in this relating experience. It became about how is this relationship/connection going to be expressed. Meaning what will it manifest into. It is this then that puts the sorting process of the linear, problem solving mind in place.
How do the energies stabilise and balance again?
To stop this in it's tracks, the first thing that needs to happen, is the over- investor/over- functioning person, must stop over-investing. They need to allow the dip of energies to spiral its full course by not reaching in and being the one to catch it first. In doing this it will allow the Under-Investor to feel the dip also. They will then feel it in the etheric connection that the other is no longer reaching in and allowing them the opportunity to show their authentic value for the relationship/connection. You are giving the relationship/connection the space to evolve. You are then coming from a place of offering rather than having to take, need or get something from the relationship / connection.
When the person who is undervaluing themselves is overvaluing the relationship/connection by over investing and over functioning, they automatically shift their self worth from coming from a space of offering ( I value and are worthy of having things to offer you that you will naturally find of value to move towards) to depletion (what am I not getting from you that I want) .
Offering is not fear based and is part of creating a natural feeling of safety. When we try to get something out of someone, it automatically puts them into a defense mode. This is what activates the linear problem solving mind also.
When you give the opportunity to the other person to move in and re-invest, guess what it does? It provides the opportunity of offering energy from them towards you. It can also have them discern whether they want to reinvest the full value into the connection/relationship, leave it as it is, or make a transactional withdrawal completely.
Offering of self is what creates a balanced unified field of connection, love and harmony in relationships. When we want something or aren’t getting something, check in with your own self worth or value. What is making you feel depleted. What is the signal of a persons withdrawal of energy telling you. What are you fearing? What are you risking to lose in this?
When we re-ignite ourselves with the value of the connection/relationship the equanimous exchange and investment of energies re-balance into the co-created consciousness again in a more evolved way should both parties permit. The value becomes more about what the other can offer to add to their world and reality. To how they can open up to new possibilities and experiences of love and connection in a safe way and see where the journey can take them.
When we offer we can be given more than we ever thought we could conceive and imagine.
Written by Aliki Nektaria
The Path Clearer